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Greetings, fellow Earth Dweller. Our supreme beings are monitoring this human frequency for contact.  We feel confident we can assist you.  Please allow a 5 millisecond delay as your message is transferred through the nearest worm hole.  All communications are considered as being of the upmost urgency.  Our desire to please is intergalactically recognized.  Please state the nature of the issue you wish to receive help on in your subject heading.  Thank you.